Anyone have directions?

A little less than two years ago, I was at graduation's doorstep. I had "You call my name but I gotta make clear/ I can't say baby where I'll be in a year" (from Aerosmith's "Sweet Emotion") quoted in my AIM profile. It was basically my "I think I'm afraid of committment" warning to the guy I was seeing, but the point is that I was so excited about not knowing what was coming next. Not knowing where I would be in three months, six months, a year. I was busy finishing two theses and working on final papers and portfolios, and graduation was still this surreal thing waiting on the not-distant-at-all horizon. Life was supposed to be exciting after that. My bachelor's degree was supposed to bring me great things.

I didn't know then where I would be in a year, and I still don't. The difference now is that I'm sick of it and soon my head will explode, or perhaps deflate. Sink in on itself until there's nothing left, brain having atrophied and skull disintegrated. That's what my bachelor's will have gotten me.

I'm in the midst of applying for grad school, and on the one hand I'm breathing a sigh of relief at the prospect of being in a solid place with a solid purpose (getting A's) again. But on the other hand I'm fretting that I'm only fleeing back into the cozy arms of education because I'm afraid to really step out into the real world. Education is what I know. The rest of it, I don't. And it's terrifying to think that in the eighteen months I've been out of school, I haven't kept a job for more than six months.

This is what I have done:
Learned to be a framer * Gotten my heart broken * Totaled my well-loved, heart-still-beating Jeep * Spent a week in Paris * Spent a summer in Philly * Become a barista in a small-town coffee shop * Moved out and moved back home twice

I don't know. On a good day I think I've had an interesting mixed bag of experiences over the last year and a half and isn't it cool that I've lived three different places and met such a variety of people and so on and so forth.

Tonight, though, I'd just like to know where I'm going.