All cold and no warm make Jill something something

So it's the end of February, the month I hate most. Historically, it has sucked, mostly because winter is vile, but also because crappy things just tend to happen in February. (See this page for another well-explained condemnation of February.)

So, since it's February, and since there's still another month of dreariness and cold (I used to think March was a good month, seeing as it heralded the coming of spring, but I realized that March is just as bad as February. In fact, it's worse, because winter is still hanging on like the little frigid bastard that it is, even though you're thinking "Hey, it's March! Spring will officially be here soon! I'm going to have a picnic! And wear flip-flops!" Then reality forces you to think "Oh fuck, it's 32 degrees? Rassfrassasumnabitchgrumblegrr..."), and since I'm feeling snarky, I'm going to list ten things that peeve me, just BECAUSE.

1. Drivers who pull out in front of me and then drive below the speed limit. If you're in such a hurry that you have to cut me off, speed the hell up!

2. Someone else's radio at work on low volume set to the pop station. As repetitive and instrumentless as pop music is, it's ten times worse to hear only little staccato bits of the shittiest parts of the songs. Shudder.

3. Snapping gum. Almost as bad as the radio.

4. Small talk about the weather or traffic. How about instead of "Sure is cold today," we say "Would you rather eat a ketchup-slathered piece of cheesecake or a mustard-glazed macaroon?" You'll find out more than that you both dislike scraping frost off your car windshields.

5. Poor grammar in general, but these things especially make my skin crawl:

*The phrase "should've went." Should have gone. Duh.
*The phrase "I drug that file to this folder." You dragged it, you jerk.
*"Alot." It's two words. Two! A lot, as in, that's a whole lot of being wrong.
*The use of "I" after a preposition. The secret is not between you and I, it's between you and ME. Try it this way, if you're struggling: Take the other person out of the sentence. Would you say "That cookie is for I?" No, you wouldn't, unless you are an idiot.

6. Inexplicable rattling. My car is full of random little rattles, and sometimes it makes me want to drive it off a cliff while I hit the "eject" button and parachute safely to the ground. Except that my car does not have an eject button, so driving off a cliff would be a most foolish decision. However, if my car did have an eject button, I'm sure it would rattle inexplicably.

7. Bathroom chatter. I can deal with "how's your day going" while I'm washing my hands, but if I'm in a stall or the other person is in a stall, I do not want to chat.

8. Paper cuts. They freaking hurt!

9. People who use email as their main form of communication with clients and fail to proofread what they're sending. I understand typos -- we all slip up with the typing now and then, but I work at a company where the sales reps do a great deal of corresponding through email, and geez... If I were a client and I got something like this: "Thank you for you order I am looking froward to working with you. I am faxing you a release form please sign it Thanks alot and have a good day1," I might feel a little less confident about giving this person my money. Particularly since we are part of the publishing industry, I feel like my co-workers oughtta be a little more careful. That said, they are very nice people and are better on the phone than I could ever hope to be.

10. My own sloppiness. I just looked down and realized there is chocolate smeared on my desk chair. I am a damn slob.

Three more hours till March. Who's excited?