It begins...

I have a new obsession. I kind of like it, and I also kind of want it to go away for just a little while. It is occupying most of my waking thoughts, it’s the last thing I think about before going to sleep, and it has started cropping up in my dreams.

Yes, friends, the wedding obsessing has begun.

I really had no idea how much there was to think about when T and I first got engaged on the last day of September. I started looking at dresses immediately – because, duh, why wouldn’t I? – and I idly browsed a few websites of possible reception spaces. But I didn’t start seriously thinking about ceremony and reception sites until two weeks ago, when T and I realized we’d have to push up our planned May 2009 date. We discussed October 2008 (mutually deciding something along the lines of “Gah! Too soon!”), December 2008 (T’s main complaint: “Too cold.”), New Year’s Eve (Jill’s main complaint: “Too fancy and expensive.”), and finally settled on just one month earlier than our original date. So we’re thinking April 25, 2009. (Right, T?) And now that it’s March 18 and I’m realizing how incredibly far in advance sites and photographers get booked, I’m consumed with finding the perfect spot for us.

It’s extremely difficult to do this when we can’t look at sites together. Sure, I can send T photos and prices and thoughts via e-mail, and we can spend more time than T would like discussing it on the phone, but it’s no match for being able to physically visit these places together.

I’m moving to California on April 21, which means I should probably spend more time getting all my day job work done and packing at home than surfing a thousand different photographers’ websites trying to catch a good glimpse of the reception sites we’re considering. But – I think you can guess how I’ve been spending my time.

(Short psychoanalysis aside: perhaps I am such a procrastinator that instead of focusing on the things that will have more of a direct effect on my future – looking for a job in San Diego, packing up my apartment before the middle of April, writing the four stories I have on my plate at work – I am immersing myself in party-planning. This could be true.)

But it is important to find and book a wedding site! It would seem that there are approximately 1 million brides in my next-to-the-middle-of-nowhere town, all vying for a warm spring Saturday at a charming reception location, and I am but one of this flock. I want to make a decision and a deposit before I move.

So for the sake of my overheating brain, I will describe the options, but without specifics, because I feel like being vague:

1. Historical Museum – A living history farm and village with plenty of PA Dutch history. Has an awesome yellow barn on the property with pretty, twinkly lights strung from the rafters. Rental of the barn comes with grassy courtyard out back, ideal for an outdoor ceremony and/or cocktail hour. Cons: Less-than-elegant bathrooms, potentially dirty brick floor in barn (I would have to train myself not to fuss over the hem of my wedding dress.)

2. Historical Estate – The home of a general of yore. Big, rambling old farmhouse with pretty grounds. Reception would be in a big, rambling old red barn. Cons: I have no information on it yet. Don’t think there’s a plan B for a ceremony if it rains.

3. Art Gallery in town – What used to be a turn-of-the-century bakery, this gallery has several wood-floored rooms, exposed beams, twinkly lights, and off-white painted brick walls. Really, really cool-looking inside. Cons: Located a block away from Sketchy-ville, urban landscape includes ugly chain-link fence. No outdoor option.

4. Renovated Farmhouse-turned-Wedding Factory – Gorgeous old farmhouse/manor near the banks of the little local river, pretty trees and sprawling green lawns. Extra-gorgeous reception space inside with sleek wooden floors and wooden beams arching along the high ceiling. Lovely separate bride and groom quarters for getting ready before ceremony. Very convenient to hotels for guests. Cons: Driveway leading up to manor is lined with ugly-ass industry; manor is a random bright spot in a rather desolate section of L-town. Also, it’s a wedding factory. Those million brides in my area that I mentioned before? 80% of them will get married here.

5. Chapel at Private Girls’ School/Ballroom at Local Inn in Groom’s Hometown – A convenient choice: We could have the wedding ceremony at the chapel and then enjoy a short walk down the street to the inn. Cons: I haven’t been inside either space. Don’t know what food/service/accommodations are like at the inn. Kind of a far drive for my parents, who will do a lot of planning/decorating.

6. Small Bed and Breakfast, Rural Location – Pretty working farm with an earthy appearance. Located near-ish parents’ house. Have heard good things about the owners. Cons: Can’t accommodate more than 100 guests without a tent. I haven’t seen it in person yet and don’t know too much about it, other than other people’s good opinions. Not particularly convenient to hotels.

Sort of 7. T’s mom suggested this lovely little historic chapel, which is a short drive from a reputable ballroom. I don’t know what the ballroom looks like yet, and it’s quite a hike for my parents. I’m not totally ruling this option out, but it’s not as prominent in my thoughts as the other sites I listed.

So, have I spoken with the site coordinator of any of these places? Of course not. I suppose that will make it easier to narrow down – facts and figures and all that – but what I’d really like is for some great, obvious sign to accompany each place so that I can easily rule it out. Like, I visit Option 2 and find a family of rabid opossums in the barn, hush-hushed by the owners. Then I visit Option 5 and the ballroom smells like shepherd’s pie, which, for some people, might be delightful. But as for me, I think shepherd’s pie is an abomination. Or I visit Option 3 and really, really can’t get over the aesthetic un-appeal of the chain-link fence outside. Or I decide that I just can’t be another notch in Option 4’s bedpost. And so on.

However, I know that we’re just going to have to make a damn decision and be at peace with it. “I’m not the one dithering!” is what T will eventually say, while I pore over my lists of pros and cons and fret like a neurotic little woodland creature. You’d think that being aware of my indecisive tendencies would be the first step in overcoming them, but I assure you, it’s not. It is, however, an excellent source of self-deprecating humor.

So, to sum up:

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