Youth
I went shopping on Friday, ending my long afternoon at the mall in what used to be my clothing mainstay, American Eagle Outfitters. In college, I bought most of my clothes there, but I’ve realized that while my essential taste is still bohemian-casual, I don’t feel comfortable at AE anymore. I’m too old for that store now. I’m sure I could pass for a college kid, but it seems to me that the clientele at AE – at least where I live – is mainly comprised of 16-year-olds and their moms. As I stood in line on Friday to buy some cute undergarments that were super-cheap thanks to the summer sale, I examined the two tiny teenagers checking out in front of me. They were probably all of five feet tall, 95 pounds, both wearing shorts no bigger than a dinner napkin and spaghetti-strap tanks, both with nut-brown tanned skin and razor-straight blonde hair. They could have been manufactured from the “Tiny Teen” factory. When I bought my goods, the cashier, a homely Steve Buscemi lookalike, commented on the great sale prices of the various undergarments. While a little put-off that this guy was talking to me about underwear, I was more weirded-out by the thought that I was purchasing the same style of bras and underwear that some 16-year-old guy would lustily grope on his Tiny Teen girlfriend.
Definitely too old for this store.
It’s an odd feeling, knowing that kids ten years younger than me are just now learning to drive. Ten years ago, when I was the one learning to drive and my older brother was 26 and struggling to figure out “life,” today’s teenagers were still goofing off in a sandbox somewhere. They hadn’t learned long division yet.
My boyfriend, T, has a friend from high school whose little sister, age 16, was killed in a car crash on Saturday. She was just going out with a friend visiting from out of town to get a late-night bite to eat. They were simply driving, she in the passenger seat. Missed a turn in the road. The others in the car survived. She probably just wanted a milkshake and some fries, or whatever it is that teenagers eat when they go out on a Saturday night. She could have been shopping for trendy clothes at American Eagle on Friday, fitting right in with her age group. Maybe not. I don’t know what kind of clothes she wore.
This kind of thing happens all the time, and it terrifies me. Losing someone I love in a tragic and sudden way is pretty much my biggest fear. Maybe it is for most of us. But you can’t live your life afraid of what might happen – if I did that, I’d probably never leave the house. And then I would most likely find something to be afraid of in the house. But all we can do is keep living, until we don’t anymore. That’s essentially it, isn’t it?
Sixteen. My heart grieves for her family. Her brother, T’s friend, is in the Army and spent two years in Iraq. He lives in Texas now. All that worrying and praying…and they lose the baby of the family. I pray for their grief to be muted by whatever love – from God, from friends, from family – they have in their lives. I pray for love to give them comfort.
Definitely too old for this store.
It’s an odd feeling, knowing that kids ten years younger than me are just now learning to drive. Ten years ago, when I was the one learning to drive and my older brother was 26 and struggling to figure out “life,” today’s teenagers were still goofing off in a sandbox somewhere. They hadn’t learned long division yet.
My boyfriend, T, has a friend from high school whose little sister, age 16, was killed in a car crash on Saturday. She was just going out with a friend visiting from out of town to get a late-night bite to eat. They were simply driving, she in the passenger seat. Missed a turn in the road. The others in the car survived. She probably just wanted a milkshake and some fries, or whatever it is that teenagers eat when they go out on a Saturday night. She could have been shopping for trendy clothes at American Eagle on Friday, fitting right in with her age group. Maybe not. I don’t know what kind of clothes she wore.
This kind of thing happens all the time, and it terrifies me. Losing someone I love in a tragic and sudden way is pretty much my biggest fear. Maybe it is for most of us. But you can’t live your life afraid of what might happen – if I did that, I’d probably never leave the house. And then I would most likely find something to be afraid of in the house. But all we can do is keep living, until we don’t anymore. That’s essentially it, isn’t it?
Sixteen. My heart grieves for her family. Her brother, T’s friend, is in the Army and spent two years in Iraq. He lives in Texas now. All that worrying and praying…and they lose the baby of the family. I pray for their grief to be muted by whatever love – from God, from friends, from family – they have in their lives. I pray for love to give them comfort.
posted by Jill @ 2:09 PM
1 Comments:
That is so sad.
I'm struggling lately with that whole "you can't be afraid of what might happen" thing. But I think you're exactly right. Tragedies like this remind us of how resilient people are, even in the face of seemingly unbearable sadness. We're built to bear it, even things we think we couldn't.
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