New Year's Day

I think that if the end of the year is any indication of how the following year will be, I might just be in good shape. It's a shaky theory, but in December 2003, I was miserable, and 2004 turned out to be just about the most awful year in my history. Now December 2004, however, was quite a lovely month. I'm hoping it means 2005 will not be another soul-crushing year filled with sadness and bad decisions.

Sometime in November I catalogued all the horrible things that have happened to me and many of my friends and loved ones in 2004, and seriously, I'm still sort of bewildered. And the world got one more ass-kick with the tsunami last week. Listen up 2005: I have high expectations for you.

I have to say, though, that it's quite interesting to look back over the year and think about how much has changed. I'm definitely not sorry that these last twelve months are over, but they've challenged me in some useful ways. I did some stupid stuff, and even as I was doing it I was thinking "this probably isn't the best way to handle how I'm feeling." It's kind of nice to look back at the "I wish I hadn't" moments and appreciate that I've learned from them. Yeah, I've grown a lot over the last year, learned what I can and cannot deal with, learned that I deserve a hell of a lot better than I was tolerating, learned that despite the mistakes, I'm still an alright kinda girl. And for that growth I'm grateful.

But 2004 can still go rot in hell.